long time...

recently being very busy... producing CD for client, preparing quotation for client on CD project... preparing playground concert, Assignment from theology school, work and problem from servicing church.... very busy and no time to write anything down... yes no time.. at least a month.
tonight i didn't think i will write here anything... but my bad mood and feeling make me need an outlet.. it is an outlet for me.. when in such a blue hours.
too many things in church waiting for me to solve... and i think what i need is wisdom from god. for the concert... i really try my best to be a good band leader here... hope everything alright... and that's great that tonight we have a fine rehearsal. and not bad.
when going home.. heavy rain... no van... no taxi... even i called one taxi... i still need to wait for half an hour. going home with a bad mood... empty... lonely... and helpless... even i stand under the sky-over... but i still get wet... whole wet...

you know what i want? i just want to sit in a very comfortable way... with nothing... only sit with slient. but just like a kid losing his toys... empty...

a very very bad night for me... getting hurt again... but i think it would be ok when i open my eyes again in the next morning. since it is a "more fish " hurt....

even very tired... but i don't want to go to bed... since... um.. nothing. just want to work... but... nothing has beed worked out. haha... worthless...

nothing but just want to stay where i want....