peers??

in fact... i have no peer group... even in fellowing in church... i can't find someone who are walking with me from my young age to present...
beside working and music.. i really know nothing... those my friend in my passed years, nowadays doesn't walk with me in the same path... even in church... cell group... may be it is my problem... i'm not good at disclose myself to the others? yes.. should be...
may be the reason of my past? when i was a child, no one would take care me... i need to do everything myself... cooking... live alone... protect myself... no one helped me that time... so i get used to it?
i find that i need to make a change, but it is very difficult... one of my best partner said to me... you look very strong in front of every one.. no one think you are weak... an also you are the "problem solver"... haha... that's may not good...
i'm not really as strong as you think... i'm very weak... as a man... i do say... "i'm not a strong man"...
Lord... i need your help... it is the limit... i'm limited... i can't go ahead with this...